Archive for the 'selfishness' Category

03
Mar
09

To Love Man…

Man is a savage they say, a beast. A beast which the society tames.

Growing up as a kid I was often labeled as a selfish kid, by my parents, my teachers and my peers, for I wouldn’t share my goodies with anyone – chocolates or toys or any other such thing. Gradually, I began to change, for God did not like selfish kids, or so I was told. I started sharing things with others, often with a heavy heart and afraid of the God hiding behind the clouds. But more than God what scared me was the rebuttal of the society, being labeled as selfish all over again and being sidelined.

I was, like many of you reading this, being tamed – to fit into the society – but for some strange reason, within the deepest quarters of my heart I, still was, the same old selfish beast and tried my best not to show my share of goodies to friends and family, lest I be forced to share.

College and grass helped me become the beast again, I dared to call myself one, I dared to call myself selfish and I still do. While the society regards selfishness as a vice, to me its a virtue, a virtue far greater than any other, for somewhere deep inside we are all selfish and we’re scared to accept the truth.

go go said the bird
reality is too much for human kind to bear

said TS Eliot in one of his poems. It actually is too much for us to bear and in the process we created the likes of God, with the kind of vision that’ll embarrass Superman!

We’ve created a perpetual machine against the very basic laws of thermodynamics!

In the process of loving God, being one with him we have forgotten what love means. How can a man love others if he doesn’t know what love is, for to love others he has to love himself first; but that he cannot do for loving himself would mean being selfish and selfish people cannot love others. What kind of illogical beings have they turned us into? How can a man make a music if he knows not what it is?

To be selfish is not a crime, it is the first step in finding yourself, reclaiming your life, a life that you’ll live but once for no one knows what lies beyond and all that we claim to know is based on our imagination!

It is when you become selfish, when you experience yourself, when you see the beauty of the beast within you that you’ll become a man, not otherwise, for unless you see the beauty and the ugliness within you you will not be able humble yourself and experience the beauty elsewhere.

Selfishness taught me the joy of sharing, the joy of being friendly and at the same time being rude, the joy of being able to laugh at myself and above all the joy of loving people and forgiving them.

When I say all this, you’d assume this is all rhetoric, what the fuck is he saying? he has no clue!

Well, for once I know I am not stoned, and that I am in perfect senses and that I make perfect sense. To be able to be a man, a human, you need to be selfish. All the love for god will not reform you, it’ll make you worse. I see it everyday, church going people, cursing each other behind their backs.

Had the good fortune of spending a day at a Leprosy Care Centre here in Hyderabad and I must say it was an experience of a lifetime, for I realized that the social outcasts are at times the most love-able and loving people. Want to spend some more time there. What surprised me was the manner in which the people who accompanied me reacted, a bunch of church going god loving sheep. Their attitude not just disgusted me rather reinforced my belief that loving a non existent god is worse than killing a man.

Where has all this Godliness brought us? People are up in arms against each other, be it Hindu Fanatics in India, Muslim Fanatics in Pakistan, Jewish Fanatics in the Middle East or Christian Fanatics elsewhere. Religion and Gods have left us with nothing but misery, they have divided our hearts and filled us with hatred.

Dostoevsky was right when he said that Roman Catholicism is worse than atheism infact any organized religion is worse than atheism.

The need of the hour is not to seek the non existent god within us but to seek the human within us.

The need of the hour is to make a new man of us, to transform ourselves into humans and not some brainless sheep herded by an unknown and unseen shepherd and to work towards a new world order devoid of these forces that divide us and spread nothing but hatred.

At this point I leave you with an iconic song of the last century by John Lennon – Imagine. Lyrics can be found here.

Pax Vobiscum.

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22
Feb
09

Time

Fear is one human emotion that can do wonders. I personally believe that there are just two basic human emotions – Fear and Hope. And if you subscribe to my view that every human being is selfish by nature you’ll see how every other emotion falls into place or perhaps can be described by these two basic human emotions.

Anyway,  I have had the good fortune of having been fed on good oldies and western classical music when I was a kid, all forms of SATANIC aka rock/english music was banned at home and new hindi songs were supposed to corrupt me.

It wasn’t until I came to college that I started listening to English Music and was sucked into the music revolution that we see today and thanks to my grooming, lyrics were always important to me like music and then of course there was grass all around the college and I became a part of the Metal culture in college. When grass gave way to more grass and grass derivatives, classical rock dominated my music list. All this while I was still loyal to my training in western classical music and sang for over three different choirs in the city.

Nevertheless, one album that left me spell bound for its artistry was Dark Side Of The Moon, three years later I am still tripping on it and am on my toes because of this rather brilliant album.

A concept album deeply rooted in human miseries(human experiences as Pink Floyd called the themes they sung about), I call em miseries because of my loyalty towards Wittgenstein’s Tractatus Logico Philosophicus and the existential school of thought.

Life is meaningless and metaphysical questions don’t lead us anywhere.

Nevertheless, what existentialists mastered was looking at life and trying to answer and give meaning to immediate problems instead of trying to picture god or question the reason of our existence.

Anyway, three years and on One song that freaks the crap out of me is Time:

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but its sinking
And racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in the relative way, but you’re older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought Id something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
Its good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

This is one song that has kept me on my toes and perhaps will continue to. Hope the same magic works for you.




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